FOSSILS: Viagra, snuff, and Rock n Roll

By Robert AWebster

Humor

General Fiction

Language: English Restricted (R)

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GOOD HOME NEEDED
Please take me to your heart and Kindle. I am inexpensive and entertaining.
I promise to make you laugh, and I won’t belch, fart, or drink out of your toilet.
Unlike my writer.

Imagine - if your old granddad suddenly became the nation’s biggest rock heartthrob...Imagine no longer.

When Charles Clark’s wife passed away, he thought life without his beloved Mary would be unbearable. Charles knew that his middle-aged children, who had families of their own, didn't want him burdening them, which is why they dumped him into Fossdyke Old Folks’ Home. However, unbeknownst to Charles, this is not the end of his life story, but rather the beginning of a new chapter.

What started out as fun for the four elderly musicians of a band called Fossils, has now, thanks to Kipper, spiralled out of control. Record companies, fans, and the nation’s media scour the country in search of the elusive, young, vibrant, four-piece band, unaware they have a combined age of 280 years.

The old rockers, fearing their families being ridiculed when the truth comes out, need to find a way to avoid attention in the UK until things can be resolved.
Fortunately, Steve has a plan...

Meet the Fossils:
Charles Clark (Nobby) – Keyboard and lead vocals – Prone to nodding off...often.

Steve Baker (Strat) – Lead guitar and vocals – Extremely irritable bowels...and I do mean extremely.

Wayne Logan (Sticks) – Percussion and songwriter – Selectively deaf, randy old sod.

Elvin Stanley (Chippers) – Bass – Digitally challenged, also a randy old sod.

Kevin Nutley (Kipper) – Local DJ and manager – As smart as a bag of rocks.

Dave Corrigan (Cosmo) – Pub landlord and manager – Claims to be an honest businessman who, according to him, had nothing to do with the dodgy DVDs circulated around town...honest.

Follow their antics as the band tours the Philippines, Cambodia, and Thailand as they attempt to stay one step ahead of their pursuers. They discover a new and carefree way of life, which they enjoy to its fullest.

Viagra, snuff, and rock ‘n’ roll.