Story Behind The Book
This book is the result of numerous conversations and counseling sessions with individuals and couples that were struggling with relationship issues. I felt a need to put in writing ideas and theories that I felt could help people with their relationship with the opposite sex, and help to guide them through the maze of finding the ideal mate. Much of what I have written is the result of personal experience as well as information gathered from other professionals in the field of human development. The ideal relationship is one where both parties add value to the union. It is very narrow minded to pursue a relationship based solely upon what you intend to receive from the other person. You hear so many crazy things like people saying that God is going to find them a mate, and I am waiting on my Boaz. On the surface all these things may sound good, but what are you really saying? Do you have so little confidence in your own ability that you want to put the responsibility of you finding a mate solely on God? Are you looking for a Boaz so that you can quit your job and he can pay all your bills? That may be good for you but what are you bringing to the table. So often when people try to relate to each other they mask their true identities behind their pain. Rather than trying to relate to what’s best and noble in the other person they connect to each other’s pain as a basis for a relationship. So rather than enriching each other’s experiences they use each other as a sounding board to rehearse every negative experience they ever had. This in turn perpetuates the cycle of pain and abuse, causing a bad situation to only get worse. Cracking the relationship code was birthed out of a desire to help people to be able to genuinely relate to one another. Before you can be real with anyone else you must learn to be real with yourself. Doing this requires a level of transparency that many are not willing or able to produce. There are some basic questions you need to ask if you want to position yourself so that you will be prepared for the person that truly is for you. For instance what is the driving force behind your desire to be in a relationship? What are you expecting to gain in a relationship? What do you have to offer that is unique, and brings value to the relationship? When you are able to answer these and other questions you are well on your way to cracking the relationship code