Story Behind The Book
"John, they would have brought a body back but you know wild animals. I want her alive as much as you do. She came from my own womb," she choked out in anger. Why do you think you suffer more than me? My guilt could kill me but we have a whole table full of children in there who's scared of what is going to happen next!" John was quiet for several moments. "Remember, Mattie," he finally broke his own silence. "We never wanted to loose a single child," he anguished and shook his head. "I put us all at a horrible risk. I failed Laura, and then I quit on her. If what you say is true, there isn't even a body to bury, Mattie! Not even a rest-in-peace on a wooden cross!" They listened to the sounds around the fort. It seemed strange for the world to go on as if nothing had happened. "People ask me, " Mattie tearfully spoke, "'how can you be so strong, you're so stronge, Mattie', they say. I want to look back at them and tell them, I'm not. I just don't have a choice. Everyday I struggle, John. Children are resilent it's true, but what makes you think they don't suffer, too? If we give up, John," whispered Mattie, "we'll lose them all-one way or another." John studied her and she was making sense. He was missing what his family was going through while he was so selfishly handling his own grief. He took her in his arms and held her close. He was letting them all down. He was destroying his own family. Beyond Laura, how much more damage did he want to do? "Well, I'll give it to you, Mattie...your right! The only thing we can do now is go on when the snow passes. We have no choice. I sold everything back in Vermont. God help us," he said. They walked back inside, together.