A TALE OF DARK DEEDS, UNDER-HAND DEALINGS & HORRIBLE TUNELESS WASSAILING TO BANDS OF HIDEOUS WAILING CRUMHORNS

In which the King suffers visits from the two mincing thespians, Short & Curly: Lorenz Lawnne-Bowlyngge, the fey interior designer & Changing Rooms specialist: Dr. Misaubin & his travelling medicine show: the misguided owner of a henge-building franchise: notaries from the law firm of Shyster Shyster Sharpp-Practice Conn: Tull, the inventor of the Gardeners' Claw: Joey Pantolooni, clown & leader of the worst circus on the planet: Griswolde Pauncefoote, leader of the castle's band of Waits, and possibly the worst musician in the world: his brother, the mildew-encrusted Black Knight: Rijk van Dyjke, the demented Flemish ice sculptor: Max Hispano-Suiza, carriage-builder & dealer in dodgy second-hand carts: Leonardo van Tableaux, hack tabloid painter & habitual drunk:Archer, the longbow-man prepared to commit perjury for a fee on the King's behalf: Dr. Placebo-Ganglion, the cadaverous castle physician: Blacques Jacques a t'Acques, Captain of the pirate sloop l'Esperance Perdu: Robin Hood: the Assassin Astreau-Turphe.

& Henry II (real King).