Why I Hate Straws


By Barry Parham

Publisher : CreateSpace

ABOUT Barry Parham

Barry Parham
Barry Parham is a freelance web developer and the author of humor columns, essays and short stories. He is a music fanatic, a 1981 graduate of the University of Georgia, and a self-described eco-narcissist.Barry is the author of the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," a 248-pa More...



Includes the award-winning stories "Going Green, Seeing Red" and "Driving Miss Conception!"

Excerpts from Why I Hate Straws

"I finally decided to try one of the new, non-threatening light bulbs - you know, one of those curly things that looks like soft-serve ice cream, costs more than a tanning bed, and is guaranteed to save me up to 12 cents between now and the formation of any new continents."

"You may be thinking, though probably not, 'how does a mere mortal build a web site?' Well, it's really quite simple. I type normal human words, wrap them in weird code words, and suddenly you're able to download air-brushed pictures of moody Nordic women."

"After thanking himself, and then introducing himself, and then thanking himself for inviting himself, the President actually said, out loud, 'next page.'"

Online author Barry Parham unleashes this set of satire, humor, and indignations. His perorations poke at family, dating, politics, culture, nature, good and bad decisions, and ferrets.

Award-winning humorist Barry Parham relentlessly documents the humorous facets and foibles of our shared human condition, and has been sharing his irreverent observations for some time, through humor columns, essays and short stories. Parham's first book, the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," has received numerous awards. "Why I Hate Straws" is an eclectic compilation of observations about life on Planet Earth. His "what's wrong with this picture?" commentaries run the gamut of topics from family, to politics, to dating (or not dating) and even ferrets. From the frustrations of trying to save the planet, one light bulb at a time, to analyzing the inane concepts that define daily television advertising, these brisk, bite-sized stories will strike a chord with anyone who grew up in (or in spite of) American culture.

Once you discover why funny man Barry Parham hates straws, you'll never look at one the same way again. As you get caught up in his offbeat world view you'll also never look at Alaska, Barbies, or Joe Biden the same way either.

This book collects a myriad of Parham's weekly humor columns into a physical tome that looks great on your bedside table. Just beware of the sleep you may start losing if you choose to read passages prior to bedtime. Also beware of your significant other, who may get annoyed with your laughter while she tries to sleep.

Barry's columns touch on classic themes but remain relevant by challenging current happenings in the worlds of pop culture and politics with smart humor and clever wordplay. His delivery is so slick and his punchlines so accessible that if this book doesn't make you laugh hysterically then you should check your pulse immediately.

Parham has mastered the art of the humorous list and proves that he really only needs one sentence to bring you to tears with laughter. If this is only his debut book, then bachelor (or is it single guy?) Barry Parham has one of the brightest futures in humor writing.

I highly recommend this book for people who enjoy a good laugh... and to sad clowns.