one little speck

Gaynor is forty eight years old and a qualified counsellor. She decided to write her autobiography 'One Little Speck' to hopefully help others who are going through similar experiences and may identify with the battles she has faced. Gaynor is trying to overcome her demons one day at a time. Gaynor decided to move to the coast to get away from the fast pace of life in London. Gaynor enjoys the simplicity of life living by the sea. She is passionate about animals, especially her soulmate who is her German Shepherd dog called Quola. Gaynor loves reading and is very much inspired by Khalil Gibran's book called The Prophet and his philosophy of the spiritual being.

This is one hell of a story, more so because it is a true account of a very brave lady.

Gaynor's story starts with her birth in 1963 following her twin sister into the world. Little does that innocent baby know that she has been born to a dysfunctional, alcoholic and violent family. From a very early age Gaynor saw and heard things which no child should ever have to experience and these things scarred and stayed with her for the rest of her life. Some people manage to get on with life without too much baggage sticking to them and others are sensitive and mentally affected by all they have been subjected to. After repeatedly being told by her mother that she is thick, that was exactly what she thought she was and did badly at school. After seeing how alcohol devastated her parents' lives she hated the stuff with a vengeance but after one weak moment when she was a young teenager she became immediately hooked. The journey through her twenties and thirties was a haze of alcohol, escort agencies and one bad relationship after the other. She was taken advantage of by so many people and turned to drink time after time. Gaynor's upbringing gave her a huge inferiority complex which coupled with alcohol lasted for three or four decades of her life. A life wasted until she had the strength and belief that she could turn her back on drink, start a career and live a `normal' life.

Gaynor has written this book with passion, raw emotion and more truth than I would like to reveal about myself to give the reader a terrific roller coaster of a ride of life. Well worth reading.

This book is a truly in depth, honest account of Gaynor's life, her addiction to alcohol, then drugs and perhaps the addiction that caused her the most pain and upset in her life her addiction to men. Gaynor seems to attract the wrong sort of men who feed her addiciton rather than help her rid herself of the addictions she has. She started out as a young child seeing her parents consume large amounts of alcohol and the violence that ensued between them afterwards, so it became "acceptable" or "normal" behaviour. So that when Gaynor had her own relationships she seemed to accept the violence towards her. Gaynor tries many times to leave her addictions behind her but time and time again she keeps being dragged back into the drinking, even her own family offer her drinks etc when she is attending Alcoholics Annonymous. Gaynor has her own daughter whom she brings up alone. The love that shines out from the book is the love Gaynor always has for her daughter. Gaynor and her daughter move around a lot trying to escape the people that drag her back into drink and drugs and abusive relationships. Gaynor often wonders if her life style will affect her daughter,but, as you read the book you will see that both Gaynor and her daughter are successful women with good careers now.
I think it was extremely brave of Gaynor to tell her story with nothing held back. As someone who has seen and lived life with Domestic Violence it is a difficult subject to talk about alone, yet Gaynor manages to speak about that as well as her added addictions of alcohol and drugs.
The main comment to make is that this must be one of the most honest and open accounts of life by anyone who has survived drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence and the dangers encountered by those in the sex industry. But it's this honesty that can inspire any reader who has been the victim of abuse, sexual violence and betrayal. Gaynor fell into most of the traps that befall victims but through it all managed to keep a speck of hope alive and now that she's recovered that hope is being shared with others. It touches on most of the key dynamics of abuse and resolution in an easy to read straightforward way. For all those concerned with abuse and sexual violence it is a must. For a victim with a similar background to Gaynor this couls be the best and most important first book you will read.

Talks with our Creator: Scripture Based Daily Reflections

"One Little Speck" by Gaynor Goodchild

Reviewed by Sherry Schultz

This is a marvelous book, but it is not easy to read. Gaynor has written a powerful memoir, but its very genuineness makes it hard to believe that any one human being could withstand the horrors that made up her life. Born into a family where both parents were alcoholic, she became the family caretaker and lost her childhood in the process.

Her parents parted ways when she was 13, and when her mother took up with a much younger man, Gaynor could not tolerate the pain and finished off one of her Mum's bottles. Alcohol quickly became her best friend but in later years she went on to valium and later heroin.

Besides being codependent, alcoholic, and drug dependent, Gaynor was addicted to problematic relationships. She was married and had a child in her teens, and experienced many abusive relationships. Even after finding AA, her deep emotional traumas prevented her from having any lasting recovery until she finally experienced a spiritual awakening. Despite its darkness at times, it is very real and worth reading.