"Santa, Godzilla and Jesus Walk Into a Bar..."

Science Fiction & Fantasy, Humor, General Fiction

By Briane Pagel

Publisher : The Trouble With Roy Books

Santa, Godzilla and Jesus Walk Into a Bar...

ABOUT Briane Pagel

Briane Pagel
Full-time lawyer, part-time writer:  I look for the unique and funny aspects of life and try to write about... oh, who am I kidding?  I want to live a life where I do nothing but write, and when not writing, look out the window at my palatial Hawaiian estate where I've moved my family af More...



The first in the "Nick & Sexy Cop" series of humorous/sci-fi books that have been likened to Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker series, "Santa, etc." is the GREATEST Xmas story ever told!

Nick finds a trumpet laying in the gutter, and shortly after that, a dead man laying on top of where the trumpet had been. Chased by Sexy Cop into an underground lair, Nick is instrumental in finding out what's really behind "Operation: Christmas" and how the joke ends...

Not just for Christmas -- or "Xmas," as the secret governmental operation that brought this all about is christened, "Santa, etc..." is a surefire hit for anyone who likes fast-paced hilarity in their science fiction stories.

This story grew out of a contest submission for the "weirdest Christmas Story ever." When it exceeded 500 words -- the limit for the contest -- it got transformed into a full-fledged adventure novel starring Nick and the love of his life, Other Sexy Cop. This is the first in a series of books starring these these two. Get them all!

From Andrew Leon, author of "The House On The Corner:"
If you've ever wondered what Douglas Adams would have been like if they'd locked him in a room for weeks at a time to get him to write... oh, wait, they did lock Adams in a room for weeks at a time to get him to write. Okay, if you've ever wondered what Adams might have produced if he'd been locked in a room for weeks at a time with only Twinkies and Jolt cola, you should read "Santa, Godzilla... You know, that's just too long to keep typing; let's just call it SGJWIB. It has that same frenetic energy that Adams has only weirder. Yeah, I know; how can you get weirder than Adams?

Does SGJWIB have flying couches or falling whales? No, but it does have carnivorous trees, and that's saying something. It's also saying something that it really is a Christmas story. Or Xmas, as Briane says it. Or, really, an origin of Xmas story. Except a sci-fi, futuristic story that somehow takes place in the past so that it is an origin. You know, "A long time ago in a galaxy..." No, wait. "A long time ago, right here on Earth..."

Somehow, Mr. Pagel manages to weave all of the essential elements of our Christmas traditions into a linear story. There are the trees, mistletoe, Wenceslas... I think he missed the wise men, but he gets a lot of it in there. No, it doesn't always makes sense, but, then, that's why it reminds me of Adams. I mean, if I could fly because I somehow got distracted from hitting the ground while falling, I would totally do that! And SGJWIB has those kinds of leaps.

Here's the thing, if you're not someone that likes Douglas Adams, first, "what's wrong with you?" and, second, you probably won't enjoy Briane's... almost book. However, if you do like Adams, as I do, you should definitely give SGJWIB a try. At a buck, you really can't lose.

The story is wild and crazy enough that there's not much you can say about it in a critical way. It's one of those things you like or you don't like. I happen to like. I'd give it an A except for one thing: the ending. It felt a little like Briane decided it was just time to end the story and, so, just did that. It's rather abrupt. However, he adds in a twist that makes it (mostly) okay. It's one of those kinds of things that Briane seems to like and leaves you wanting to say, "So... what actually happened here?" But he doesn't answer those questions, so you'll have to decide for yourself.

Anyway, it's a fun read, and I give it a B+ to an A-. I need to reread it before I can make a firmer decision than that, but I'm in the middle of something else at the moment and don't have the time. The link to make the purchase is back up at the top of the post, and, like I said, if you like Adams, for a measly $0.99, you really can't go wrong.