How High Should I Jump? The Satirical Guide to Pleasing Today's Woman

ABOUT R. Milton Quibner

R. Milton Quibner
R. Milton Quibner, senior fellow at the Pataphysical Institute of Northern California, is one of the world’s leading heterosexual relationship specialists. Quibner has developed a unique and hard-hitting self-help program for men based on Pre-Classical values and ethics. Quibner draws More...



Many men are seeking relief from the pain of betrayal and/or divorce, and in his latest book, R. Milton Quibner offers a welcome and refreshing twist on the age-old issue of infidelity and how to deal with it.

How High Should I Jump? blends Classical thought, absurd reasoning, and overt vulgarity into a kaleidoscopic how-to spoof. His audience: anxious men lacking confidence, facing divorce or struggling with betrayal. R. Milton Quibner corrects these weakened males, offering practical -if ribald- solutions to their ineptitude, while extolling the virtues of liberated female sexuality.

How High Should I Jump? takes the admonishments and observations of the past to support a radical, direct new way of approaching the heterosexual relationship today. Quibner’s work raises women to the position they should be in society -and the bedroom- while putting a microscope on men and their behavior. It’s funny, hard-hitting, and thoroughly unique.

I don’t purport to offer psychological healing, I spew philosophical insight that people can understand, a gradual process over time (which is healing, in my view), not a simple plug-in cure and back to the office you go. The book is a social commentary on men and women, poking fun at the entire ‘immediate cure mind-set’, the cult of expertise we so worship, while using myths, stereotypes and today’s so-called truths as I see fit. There are no products on the market which do what this book does, tying Classical thought, absurd reasoning and vulgar humour into a practical, funny book that calls into question licentious behaviour by excessively promoting it. It is not a particularly moral book but certainly an ethical one, for clear, ethical understanding is lacking -if not absent- in our ‘make up your own rules’ society.

Blurb #1:

As in all the best satire, Jump brings us profound, liberating truths in hysterically funny and seemingly ridiculous pronouncements.
Wise-ass hilarity. Perfect tone. Commanding. Has the looks and heft of a best seller. Good satire is based on gems of wisdom. This is good satire.

Susan Wooldridge, author, Poemcrazy

Chico, CA

Blurb #2:

Magnum Opus... Quibner has written the syllabus for the modern man.

James Katsaros, Editor-in-Chief, Nine Muses Press

Occidental, CA

Blurb #3:

Frighteningly lucid, funny yet damnably thought-provoking; I keep coming back... Quibner has a bold, clear vision of what ails Modern Man and how Today's Woman should be treated, and this vision, essentially, is the equivalent of scaling Mt. Everest in shorts and sandals. Quite original.”

Fitz Wemberly, Editor, Cantankerous Leviathan Quarterly,

Star City, NV

Blurb #4:

Every subject carefully considered... a must-read for any man who has ever suffered in love.”

Winston Archer, author, The Male Archetype On Trial

Inverness, CA


While it's aimed at men suffering from infidelity, I swear, this is something every woman should read. Look, he's right, and I want to be treated like Quibner demands,

so Men, get over your laughter -and pride- and just do what he says!”

Janet Gleason, author, A Healing Grace

Belleville, NJ

Review #1:

Brilliant, laugh-out-loud hilarious and as in all great satire, in the wildest way, true, all true. Women rejoice, and brave men, too!  Our champion is here, in the unlikely form of a pre-Classical sexpert, R. Milton Quibner. This book stings, smarts, flies and kisses. Quibner's outrageous insights surprise again and again.

An impeccable scholar, Quibner peppers the book with astute and illuminating quotes from famous pre-Classical Greek figures. Part of the delight in reading Quibner's words is sorting out for ourselves what rings true and what is here to shock us awake with laughter, and a dose of sheer terror! One wonders, can this be true?

Men, muster all your courage and read these pages or be left out in the pre-Quibner cold. This life-saving book for sissies is not for sissies! Here you will find all the fundamental steps to becoming the New Man of the 21st Century in a world (finally!) where women rule. As Quibner commands, "Drop your pride and evolve, dinosaur, evolve!"

Women, prepare to embrace this transformational book with manic delight. You will reconnect with your sacred "evdemonia." You'll want all your friends to read about the many ways men can help you "take your place as society’s visionary leaders." This book is changing my life, I’m a new woman! “How High Should I Jump" may well start a revolution. Read these pages NOW to be at the forefront of an unstoppable global shift….

Susan Wooldridge, author, Poemcrazy

Chico, CA

Review #2:

Beyond the issues easily gleaned from its surface, R. Milton Quibner raises the question of genetic drive, slave to specie characteristics; in other words, the stronger the male, the more he protects his territorial rights. Modern law, however, forbids this natural instinct. Quibner understands this critical tension.

As to how to handle the moral issue, Quibner raises another intellectual problem, the struggle between the contemplative and the deliberative. Saint Thomas Aquinas struggled with the same issue, the one that Aristotle based his moral argument on. As you can see, and like all excellent satire, Quibner ultimately raises a profound philosophical question: what the hell do we do with our morals? Saint Augustine asked this very question in his City of God, but since God is dead (for modern man), Quibner has stepped in to create a Godless moral philosophy. Brilliant!

James Katsaros, Editor-in-Chief, Nine Muses Press

Occidental, CA